halloween’s coming early on tumblr
my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so fucking hard
I was at Walgreens buying my brother a birthday card. An elderly woman was also in the aisle. She said “can you believe they have wedding cards for two men and look even two women!”
But she then said “I’ve seen so many changes in my 80 years, it’s wonderful how things are moving forward.”
[internal tears of joy]
She then mentioned that she didn’t know any gay people but that everyone should be treated like they would want to be treated. I smiled and said “you know one now” and pointed at myself. She smiled, patted my shoulder and said “now I do”.
REBLOG AND SEE IF YOU GET A COLOR.
PURPLE: I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog.
YELLOW: I wish we were friends in real life.
RED: I love you with a burning passion.
GREY: I wish we’d talk more.
TURQUOISE: I would hug you if we met
PINK: I love your blog it’s one of my favourites
TEAL: We have a lot in common.
BLUE: You are my tumblr crush.
ORANGE: I don’t like your blog.
WHITE: MARRY ME PLEASE.
GREEN: I think you’re cute.
CORAL: I think you’re beautiful
BLACK: I would date you.
BROWN: I don’t like you.
I just got a package from my sister and its a crossbow that shoots bolts which is cool but I put it together anD IT FIRES THEM AT ABOUT 800 FPS I COULD HAVE KILLED MY ROOMMATE I ALMOST SHOT IT AT HIM BUT I HIT A METAL CHAIR THAT THE BOLT WENT THROUGH
I took the metal tip off so its just a plastic bolt
aND ITS STILL PRETTY DEADLY
Where did your sister acquire this.
Eh pendeho, why u no fuk reply to me heh, you stupid illegal Mexican piece of shit, tell me faggot
you’re seriously so obsessed with me its sad
How to finish that last minute assignment
I can not count the number of times this trick has saved my ass.
And people say Tumblr doesn’t teach you life skills…
this will come in handy one day
ATTENTION GRADUATING CLASS OF 2013: COLLEGE SURVIVAL 101